College Football Picks of the Week

This is a great time of year for a sports junkie. Baseball is coming down the stretch with the pennant races, and the postseason is right around the corner. We are currently in the process of getting ready for the college football season, starting tonight, along with the NFL a week from today. We also have the NFL and basketball right in the rearview mirror.

Here is a look at some of the more interesting matchups this weekend in College Football (No, I will waste my time and yours on how Florida, Texas, USC, etc will win by a combined score of 34,498-9):


South Carolina 16, North Carolina St. 27

When was Steve Spurrier suppose to re-take the SEC again? He has been slightly better here than he was with the Washington Redskins. NC St. comes in with a very solid QB in Russell Wilson, who will hurt the Gamecocks in more ways than one way, and make less mistakes than his counterpart.

Oregon 45, Boise St 38

I find it amusing that basically Boise St.'s season is based on their opening game. Bottom line, if they beat the Ducks, they will probaly go undefeated. The only thing is, they will not win. Too much firepower from the Ducks, and this is a revenge game after last season. Boise St. cries on their blue grass after the game (See more on this game in The Degenerates Corner).

Navy 13, Ohio State 31

Navy will score early, as the Buckeyes takes a few series to adapt to the option attack, but Terrelle Pryor makes the crowd cream in their pants by looking like Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl back in the Nintendo days.

BYU 27, Oklahoma 55

Just before I did this article, I saw that Oklahoma will miss All-Universe Tight End Jermaine Gresham this week. Now, that is the only reason why I have Oklahoma only scoring 55 in this game. BYU will score, but I have a hard time seeing Oklahoma even attempting a punt in this game. Big game for Heisman Winner QB Sam Bradford.

Nevada 28, Notre Dame 24

Here is my Upset Spay-Shal of the Week! The only thing I have to explain this upset for me on paper is, Nevada really does have one of the Top 10-12 Quarterbacks in the country in Colin Kaepernick.
I just want to see how Lou Holtz has to explain on National TV that his expert opinion on who wins the National Championship is dusted in Week 1 of the season by Nevada. I am telling you, someone at Bristol HQ should put Holtz on suicide watch sometime this season if the Irish are 4-3.

Maryland 23, California 42

I remember watching this game last year. It was in Maryland, on ESPN, at Noon Est time. Cal in the first half looked like they just got into Maryland two hours before gametime. They were like zombies in the first half, and they could not overcome the scoring margin in the 2nd half. This game is on the left coast, this game is payback time, and Cal has RB Javhid Best that will headstomp on the Terps.

Missouri 34, Illnois 45

Was there any other team more disappointing last season than Illinois? They are loaded with athletes and talent all over the place and they just disappeared like an Italian mobster after talking to the Feds. I am jumping back on the bandwagon early this season, but with caution. Just too many weapons to ignore, led by QB Juice Williams and WR Arreilous Benn.

Georgia 27, Oklahoma St. 41

After the Cowboys lost two starters this week to injury and quitting, I am a little queasy on this pick. I mean, afterall, I do have them in the BCS Title game. I think this game being at home is huge for them, and any team that plays Okie St. right now, they just have to prove to me that they can stop WR Dez Bryant.

Virginia Tech 10, Alabama 23

This is what it comes down to. The SEC pays fo..... errrrr... I mean recruits better and more polished athletes than the ACC. Just take a look at Bama's talent, even with a new QB under Center. This might be the best defense in the nation, and the fact that the Hokies lost their starting RB, Darren Evans for the season, this should be a long night for Va. Tech.

Cincinnati 20, Rutgers 21

Think the Bearcats are pissed that this game was moved up the schedule to opening night? They are right to feel that way. They took it in the gaspipe by the schedule makers.
This really does not matter, since the Big East is absolutely putrid this season. It just sounds like that Greg Schiano's recruiting is finally going to pay off, and Rutgers will have a solid defense this season. Player to watch in this game is Bearcat WR Marty Gilyard. He is the most underrated WR in the nation, and does not get enough ink.

Miami 19, Florida St. 24

The rivalry continues. Both teams are desperate to start off hot, especially Miami. I just think Seminole QB Christian Ponder makes all the difference in a Monday Night televised game on ESPN.

This is the Wayne Root game of the week. Want to know what that is? Go check out The Degenerates Corner.

Ricky Rubio, few tidbits........

I am starting to really feel sorry for the state of Minnesota. First, they had to watch the Twins accept 30 cents on the dollar for Johan Santana and lose Torii Hunter for nothing in the same offseason. Then, they have to deal with The Days of Our Favre soap opera and now have to fall into the trap that he is their savior. Now, they have to deal with the Ricky Rubio Saga. Here are some quotes from Rubio, and I will just play translator here:


"Going to Minnesota would have just complicated my life a lot. It was a risk and I didn't see it so clearly."

Translation: There is NO way I will play basketball in Minnesota!!!

"My Priority was the NBA and it was impossible for the Minnesota Timberwolves to pay my buyout clause, so I wanted to stay home." (By the way, which is BS, because T-Wolves GM David Khan has gone back and forth to Spain all summer to negotiate a buyout agreement, and actually was reported that he reached a deal. Also, this is the same franchise that got caught for pulling Used Car sales-under the table deals in the past. Joe Smith ring a bell? Yes, different GM, but same Owner.)

Translation: My priority is to get into a big basketball market (cough New York cough). A warm market if possible (cough LA cough).

"When the season ended, I entered the draft with the intention of going to the NBA. But some things happened that kept me from being ahead of the rest and I ended #5, which I was happy with, but it didn't allow me the chance to go to the NBA. I tried, but in the end it wasn't to be."

Translation: I thought I was going to be a Top 3 pick. I thought the Grizzles had a deal to move down since I told them there was no shot in hell I was going to go play for the Lakers AAA Team. I would already be in Oklahoma City, practicing tossing alley-oops to Kevin Durant in a gym if they picked me. Then, I was happy Minnesota took me with the 5th pick, because I thought they would trade me to New York. Lastly, they drafted Johnny Flynn as well, who is a faster, quicker, tougher, more NBA ready Point Guard than I am.

"They could only put a half a million into it, and I think that deal with Minnesota had too many obstacles." (Just see above. And Ricky? The 500k thing applied to every NBA team.)

"I won't lie. My objective has always been the NBA"

Translation: Although, my Internship at ESPN was solid this summer. Did you guys check me out interviewing the parents in the stands at the Little League World Series?

This can be spun in alot of directions, but two things are clear. one, Rubio never wanted to play in Minnesota. He is now pulling an elegant, more media friendly Steve Francis Power Play. Which, if you remember, was a drafted player telling a franchise that there was a better chance of Popeye being attracted to Bluto over Olive Oil, than he would ever put on their jeresy. And last, 18 year old kids do not know how to bullshit people yet. He just offically made his bed, I hope he can sleep in it.


Couple of more tidbits:

It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes people are sheep. The #1 selling NFL jeresy? Brett Farve. That is basically an $80 snotrag when Favre has one of his classic 23 Touchdown/19 Int seasons and leads the Vikings to a 7-9 record.

The 4th best selling jeresy? Michael Vick.... Nothing out of Philly would amaze me. Just tell me, does the Vick jeresy come with his Eagles number, or his prison process number?

Speaking of Philly, I think the Phillies are getting the A-Game from Cole Hamels just at the right time.

Big props to David Wright for coming back this season after being plunked in the peanut! But, did you see that new helmet he is wearing? Now, I am all for the safety precautious, but I dunno if he is playing baseball, or if he is at the Jetson's house flying around with Elroy.

And last, the one thing I learned from Pac Man Jones signing to play in the CFL, Winnipeg must have some high quality strip clubs.

College Football Preview

I dont think everyone realizes that we are in the midst of a potential historic and legendary College Football season. When is the last time two former Heisman winners came back to school? When was the time that we had three of the top 10-15 Quarterbacks in College Football EVER, playing at the same time? We have also the potential of a dynasty coming this season. (Yes, my definition of a dynasty is winning back to back titles, or 3 in a 6 year span.).



The majority of the experts have a potential Florida-Texas matchup in the National Title Game, with one of the exceptions being Lou Holtz, who thinks Florida will play Notre Dame in the title game. Lou Holtz should be the real-life verison of the Lucky Charms leprechaun instead of an In-Studio Analyst. He would actually sound alot more intelligent on telling us how the yellow moons have more flavor than the purple horseshoes, than giving us the reasoning of The Irish in the title game.



Here is a fans opinion on the upcoming season:

The Three Amigos: So let me get this straight. I have the reigning Heismann winner, Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford coming back? Wait? Theres more? Oh, I have the former 2007 Heismann winner coming back as well in Florida's Tim Tebow? That has never happened ever. And to top it all off. Alot of experts have neither winning the Heisman this season! Thats right....... this might be the season Texas QB Colt Mccoy does not take the gaspipe frm the voters. After putting up amazing stats last year, and beating Bradford heads up, Mccoy got shafted by the Polls, then by the Heisman voters. Well, Mccoy has the most weapons around him back for one more go-round.

I just wished these three players had a chance to play one another, Round Robin style.



The Dirty Dozen:



These are the only schools that I think could wind up winning the National Title if everything breaks right for them. Most of these schools do indeed wind up playing one another.



Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, Oklahoma St., Alabama, LSU, Mississippi, Oregon, Penn St., California, Virginia Tech, TCU.



Yes, thats right, TCU over USC. Why you ask? Well, besides the Trojans losing most of their defense to Day 1 of the NFL Draft, YOU HAVE A TRUE FRESHMAN QB STARTING FROM DAY 1! Ohio St. fans will tell you the false hope of having a top Frosh QB coming in to win it all. Now granted, USC recruiting and player roster is like a cloning facility from the Star Wars movies, but lets put it this way, if you were a guy, and an 18 year old cheerleader from your local high school offered to perform a fallace act on you, do you actually think its actually going to be the #1 of your lifetime? Uh... wait a sec... dont answer that.......



The players vying for the last possible seat in New York with the Big Three:

Jahvid Best RB Cal- the most explosive RB in the nation.

Dez Bryant WR Oklahoma St.- A physical WR freak. Has the big Prime-Time game exposure against Oklahoma and Texas as well.

Jonathan Dwyer RB Georgia Tech- An NFL-ready machine. 6'0, 235 pounds.

Jevan Snead QB Mississippi- Could be the "Harrell" of the Heisman Race this season with big games against Bama and LSU.

Arrelious Benn WR Illinois- No disrespect to Julio Jones, but this guy is just as talented, but will get more touches with the ball. Plus, Illinois is a shoe-in for the Over every week with your loyal, local bookie!

Terrelle Pryor QB Ohio St.- The absolute Wild Card. He plays for one of the High Profile schools, will get plenty of national coverage with the USC, Penn St, Iowa, and Michigan games, and will put up stats in a fairly weak Conference.

Heisman Voting: 1. Tebow 2. Mccoy 3. Bradford 4. Bryant 5. Best

The ten games you cannot miss on TV this season:

10. USC-Notre Dame- This is only on the list, because I did want to show the Trojan Community some love. USC's 4th string team can beat Notre Dame by two touchdowns. Lou Holtz is jumping off the Bristol roof after this shellacking.

9. California-Oregon- This is the game that will decide the Pac-10 this season, not any USC game. Plus, these two teams also play an entertaining game.

8. Florida-LSU- The Gators just went Ike Turner on the Tigers last year. Think LSU has had revenge on their minds all year long?

7. Utah-TCU- Why is this here???? Because this is probaly going to be the game that decides who is going to shock a major powerhouse outta nowhere in a BCS Bowl. Besides, watch TCU's defense, they attack an offense like Oprah attacks a choclate cake.

6. Ohio St-Penn St.- Winner goes to the Rose Bowl and plays the Cal-Oregon winner. Will be on Prime Time TV, and usually a good, solid X's and O's football game. Expect for a change, a low scoring thriller.

5. Notre Dame-Michigan- As sad as it is that Lou Holtz has The Irish winning it all, it is not even close to how sad Michigan Football is now under Rich Rodriguez. This is in the Top 5 because I just want to see Rodriguez's face and excuses at the Post Game Press Conference when Notre Dame slamdances on their heads.

4. Alabama-Mississippi- Here is where we see if Ole Miss is fact or fiction. Snead can actually win alot of Heisman votes if he shreads this tough defense. The winner basically plays an elimination game with LSU to determine who gets waxed in the SEC Championship by Florida.

3, 2, and 1. The Texas-Oklahoma-Oklahoma St. Round Robin- This was easy as pie, or takes the cake? Which one is it again George Carlin? Basically, the survivor of these three games, gets to rip out the heart of the Big 12 North Champ in the Title game like the villain from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and plays for the National Title. Vegas is salivating to get these games on the board, HIGHHHHHHH VOLUME!!!!!!!

Speaking of Vegas......

The Five Teams Vegas is dreading trying to predict an Over/Under for:

Oklahoma, Oklahoma St, BYU, Oregon, and Boise St. And just a hint, Oregon-Boise St is 64 currently, and BYU-Oklahoma is 68...... I might be putting a second mortage on my house to bet these Overs as we speak.......

The "Lay All You Like" Game of the Year:

To give you a translation to some of my lingo, the "Lay All You Like" games are the ones that it does not matter what the point spread is, you are betting one side. Example last year, was the Washington-USC game. The spread was 41. Everyone and their mother's bet USC. That game this year has a twist to it. October 25th, Boise St. is playing at Hawaii.

Now, for the true, sick degenerate, the home Hawaii football game is called "The Bailout Game". Thats, because, on the East Coast, it is played at Midnight, and you have a shot at winning back whatever you lost all day long! And you know ESPN is gonna televise it. Boise St can be a 30 point favorite in this game, lay all ya like!

Vegas is dreading this game.........your loyal local bookie may just take this game off the board. We don't know yet..........

Predictions of Conference Winners:

ACC: Virgina Tech

Big East: Seriously, who cares, some High School teams in Texas could win this Conf. this year. I will flip a coin.... eh, it landed on South Florida.

Big Ten: Penn St.

Big 12: Oklahoma St. Thats right, I am bucking the trend!!!!!!

Pac-10: California

SEC: Florida

Rose Bowl: Penn St-California

Fiesta Bowl: Texas-Oregon

Sugar Bowl: Alabama-TCU

Orange Bowl: Va-Tech-South Florida

National Title Game: Florida over Oklahoma St.

The Dynasty has begun...........

The Weekend Recap

A lot of happenings going on and about to go down in sports in the next week. We got the baseball playoff races heating up, football is upon us, and in Entourage, our boy E finally grew a pair, and told Sloan where to go, and went to bed with the female Joker. Let’s take a recap of the weekend.

BIG weekend for the SF Giants, as they gave the broomstick to the Rockies and tied them for the Wild Card in the NL. I dunno, but if I were the Phillies or the Cardinals, I am praying that the Rockies win the WC. Do you really want to have to deal with Lincecum, Matt "Charlie Brown" Cain, and Barry Zito acting like its 2001 in a short series?

I watched the first half of the Bears-Broncos preseason game on NBC last night. First off, Chris Collingsworth is the best football analyst in the world. There is no debate there, the guy knows his shit. There is a reason why he has about 27 different jobs in TV with the NFL.

Of course, everyone wanted to see the welcome Denver gave their old golden boy Jay "Frank Cushman from Jerry Mcguire" Cutler after that bloodbath of a situation. Forget about who was right/wrong there. Both sides were right in their own ways, and wrong on how they approached the situation.

Cutler took the pacifier out of his mouth and cried until he got his way. New Head Coach Josh Mcdaniels did not have the position of being a rookie Head Coach, to pull that cute move with Matt Cassell. The story is over. Cutler is in Chicago, Denver is becoming the Oakland Raiders.

This was one of the few times I actually saw a crowd treat a preseason game as if it were Week 14 against a division rival, with the division at stake. The crowd booed and stomped at Cutler so thunderously, that NBC could not keep their cameras straight.

Cutler looked shaky at first, with Denver applying pressure out of the gate, but like any good QB, Cutler adapted. He started moving in the pocket and hit his receivers. The final, 98-yard Touchdown drive was impressive, and took all the air out of the building. Cutler wound up going 15/21 for 144 yards, and a Touchdown pass. Cushman won Round 1.

The other thing I watched this weekend was Part One of HBO's 24/7 for Mayweather/Marquez. As you will learn in time, I am a massive boxing fan. More than the average bear. I detest MMA, and support the Sweet Science like a Hippie at a Kent State anti-war rally in 1970.

This is tough for me, since I am a big Marquez fan, and I cannot stand Mayweather. Both look like they are in great shape and training hard. I just cannot see how Marquez can go up ten pounds heavier than he ever fought at, and beat a guy this skilled.

Can someone please tell Floyd that he looks like an ignorant fool with his self-promotions? We get it. You are one of the best fighters of this generation. Multiple Belts in different weight classes, millions of dollars, etc, etc. Do not try to assume the general public are idiots though. You have your Uncle's arrest, the gun charge with your car at the scene, the IRS on your ass, and the always never-ending soap opera with your father. So, what does Mayweather pull for 24/7? He goes skating with his daughter, and gives out food to the growing Vegas homeless. Tell me Floyd, if you were this much of a thespian and love to give back, why is it that we are seeing this for the first time when you have all of this bad publicity on your back. This is your 3rd HBO 24/7, why show it now? Answer that for me please.......

Want to see a nice statline for a pitcher in a week? Lemme show ya: 2 Starts, 7.2 Innings, 18 hits, 11 Earned Runs, and naturally, 2 losses. Who am I?

Well, I would be Carlos Zambrano. Remember when people thought this clown was one of the best pitchers in baseball? Well, he signed that 5 year-91 Million dollar contract on August 17th, 2007. I am going to be nice and give him the entire 2007 season underneath that contract, because a) it actually makes his stats look better and b) I’m too lazy to divide the 2007 season. Lets take a look at the before and after of Zambrano being one of the richest fat lunatics in the world.

Before 2007: 64-42 3.29 ERA, 977 Innings, 865 Strikeouts, 1.306 WHIP, K/9 Inn. 7.97.

After 2007: 39-25 3.93 ERA, 536.1 Innings, 415 Strikeouts, 1.342 WHIP, 6.96 K/9 Inn.

So basically, the Cubs gave Zambrano roughly 18 Million a year to be an Ace. The Cubs instead got Joe Blanton with anger management problems. OUCH!

How funny has it been to watch Rich Rodriguez single handedly crash and burn one of the most storied College Football programs in history? I just watched him choke up and tear, and lie about possible NCAA sanctions against him. Come on guys, we know ALL of you guys are not playing on a straight line, at least just be honest about it. I am still waiting for that one coach that comes out and says, "Yes, we bought this Point Guard. We fixed his SAT's. Yes he is driving a Mercedes up and down Campus. So what? He got me a National Title, and enough exposure for this program and myself to outlast all the restrictions the NCAA will eventually put on us." Yes, I am talking to you John Calipari.........

Last, one of my favorite sporting events starts today, The US Tennis Open. It is the one time I get into tennis all year long. Mostly, because it is a great event to go to. Two weeks of Day and Night Sessions, you can roam to see all the courts, beautiful scenery, and the $9 Hot Dogs. It is also the one time of year that white people can walk freely in that neighborhood at night. Big plus. (Ducking outta here)........