NFL Week 4 Picks

Last week in this column, I asked for the repeat 12-4 record in the picks. I almost got there, as we went 11-5 in Week 3. Let's not cry over spilled milk. The overall record is now 32-15 for the season.

We have seen the good (Ravens, Giants), the surprising (Jets, Broncos), and the ugly (Raiders, Chiefs). I have to make an entirely new category for the Browns and Rams. I think we will just call those two teams FUBAR. If you do not know what FUBAR means, just look it up, you will be in total agreement with yours truly.

Now, onto the picks:

Houston Texans 24, Oakland Raiders 10 - The Texans, with all that talent on offense, is disappointing to almost tears. Last week, Gary Kubiak should of been shot for taking out RB Steve Slaton for the goal line carries and inserting Chris Brown. Slaton was running rough-shot over the Jags. Boom, fumble, Jags ball, Texans lose. Let's see you try that maneuver again Einstein. In a shocking development, Jamarcus Russell will complete 45% of his passes this game, but its not enough. Why am I not surprised?

Tennessee Titans 20, Jacksonville Jaguars 9 - The Titans are the best 0-3 football I have seen in a long time. RB Chris Johnson is worth the price of admission, tune in your TV to watch this talent. Oh, thats right, this game will probably be blacked out. Maybe Jack Del Rio and David Gerrard should be worried about filling out that stadium than a petty radio show.

Baltimore Ravens 27, New England Patriots 20 - Tough to pick against the Pats at home, especially after how good they looked last week against the Falcons. I just think the Ravens are on a mission, and they will go after Tom Brady. No middle finger 4th quarter bombs for Joe Flacco in this game.

Cincinnati Bengals 31, Cleveland Browns 9 - The Bengals are pretty good. The Browns are Fubar. Eric Mangini just fined me for saying that.

New York Giants 34, Kansas City Chiefs 10 - Even SI.com's Peter King looked at the Vegas Line of this game and said they messed up. Remember Mike Tyson's Punchout for Nintendo? Well, the Chiefs are Glass Joe, the awful mess you fight initially. Well, the Chiefs are not fighting Little Mac, they are fighting Super Macho Man. Hide the children from this massacre.

Sidenote: How funny is the resemblance of Glass Joe, to Owen Wilson? Great call by Danjewish. Read the Casting Call for Mike Tyson's Punchout. It is a riot.

Chicago Bears 23, Detroit Lions 20 - I really wanted to have the stones to call this upset, but I finally see Matt Forte going for 100 and 2 TD's. The Lions can move the ball this season. Matthew Stafford is going to be all right.

By the way, Calvin Johnson's nickname of Megatron is definitely top 5 in sports. I can only think of Pablo Sandoval's Kung Fu Panda and Kobe Bryant being The Black Mamba that top it.

Washington Redskins 21, Tampa Bay Bucs 10 - The Bucs are about three weeks away from being fubar as well. They get a pass because at least the Bucs have a plan. Well, I dunno what it is, but I am sure they do have one. If the Redskins lose this game, Jim Zorn should just pack his bags and walk into the sunset. By the way, Ground Control to Clinton Portis, are you alive?

Indianapolis Colts 27, Seattle Seahawks 20 - For some strange reason, I do not think the Colts are going to run the Hawks out of the stadium. Seattle showed me a lot of grit in that loss to the Bears last week. If you are still alive in a Knock Out Pool, take the Giants, be very weary of this one. Of course, I am not going to pick against Peyton Manning at home though.

New Orleans Saints 23, New York Jets 16 - I originally had the Jets winning this in an upset, but then the news broke wind that CB's Lito Sheppard and Donald Strickland are out for the game. Down your 2nd and 3rd CB's against Drew Brees is not a good combination.

Buffalo Bills 16, Miami Dolphins 13 - I rather watch paint dry off my walls than sit down and watch this game for three hours. Trent Edwards is horrible. I hope the media finally stops giving excuses for this victim. Miami is breaking in a new QB. Yawwwwwwwwwwwwn!

San Francisco 49ers 23, St. Louis Rams 13- Tough kick to the chops for the 49ers last week, but they proved to everyone that they are legit. No Frank Gore, no problem, you are playing a team that has not won since Napoleon was a cadet. I feel bad for Steven Jackson. He will probably see nine-man fronts all day.

Dallas Cowboys 24, Denver Broncos 16 - Ok Denver and Mini-Belichick, prove it to me against a decent team. I do not think Kyle Orton plays a mistake-free game this time. Demarcus Ware finally gets his first sack of the season.

Pittsburgh Steelers 19, San Diego Chargers 10 - The Bolts OLine is too banged up for this Steeler pass rush to not salivate. The Steelers should feel desperation right now, and they will come through. They hold the fort and Troy Polamalu is close to returning.

Monday Night game will come in the Weekend Wrap Up article on Monday morning, along with the belated NHL Season Preview.

College Football Picks of the Week

This is a great time of year for a sports junkie. Baseball is coming down the stretch with the pennant races, and the postseason is right around the corner. We are currently in the process of getting ready for the college football season, starting tonight, along with the NFL a week from today. We also have the NFL and basketball right in the rearview mirror.

Here is a look at some of the more interesting matchups this weekend in College Football (No, I will waste my time and yours on how Florida, Texas, USC, etc will win by a combined score of 34,498-9):


South Carolina 16, North Carolina St. 27

When was Steve Spurrier suppose to re-take the SEC again? He has been slightly better here than he was with the Washington Redskins. NC St. comes in with a very solid QB in Russell Wilson, who will hurt the Gamecocks in more ways than one way, and make less mistakes than his counterpart.

Oregon 45, Boise St 38

I find it amusing that basically Boise St.'s season is based on their opening game. Bottom line, if they beat the Ducks, they will probaly go undefeated. The only thing is, they will not win. Too much firepower from the Ducks, and this is a revenge game after last season. Boise St. cries on their blue grass after the game (See more on this game in The Degenerates Corner).

Navy 13, Ohio State 31

Navy will score early, as the Buckeyes takes a few series to adapt to the option attack, but Terrelle Pryor makes the crowd cream in their pants by looking like Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl back in the Nintendo days.

BYU 27, Oklahoma 55

Just before I did this article, I saw that Oklahoma will miss All-Universe Tight End Jermaine Gresham this week. Now, that is the only reason why I have Oklahoma only scoring 55 in this game. BYU will score, but I have a hard time seeing Oklahoma even attempting a punt in this game. Big game for Heisman Winner QB Sam Bradford.

Nevada 28, Notre Dame 24

Here is my Upset Spay-Shal of the Week! The only thing I have to explain this upset for me on paper is, Nevada really does have one of the Top 10-12 Quarterbacks in the country in Colin Kaepernick.
I just want to see how Lou Holtz has to explain on National TV that his expert opinion on who wins the National Championship is dusted in Week 1 of the season by Nevada. I am telling you, someone at Bristol HQ should put Holtz on suicide watch sometime this season if the Irish are 4-3.

Maryland 23, California 42

I remember watching this game last year. It was in Maryland, on ESPN, at Noon Est time. Cal in the first half looked like they just got into Maryland two hours before gametime. They were like zombies in the first half, and they could not overcome the scoring margin in the 2nd half. This game is on the left coast, this game is payback time, and Cal has RB Javhid Best that will headstomp on the Terps.

Missouri 34, Illnois 45

Was there any other team more disappointing last season than Illinois? They are loaded with athletes and talent all over the place and they just disappeared like an Italian mobster after talking to the Feds. I am jumping back on the bandwagon early this season, but with caution. Just too many weapons to ignore, led by QB Juice Williams and WR Arreilous Benn.

Georgia 27, Oklahoma St. 41

After the Cowboys lost two starters this week to injury and quitting, I am a little queasy on this pick. I mean, afterall, I do have them in the BCS Title game. I think this game being at home is huge for them, and any team that plays Okie St. right now, they just have to prove to me that they can stop WR Dez Bryant.

Virginia Tech 10, Alabama 23

This is what it comes down to. The SEC pays fo..... errrrr... I mean recruits better and more polished athletes than the ACC. Just take a look at Bama's talent, even with a new QB under Center. This might be the best defense in the nation, and the fact that the Hokies lost their starting RB, Darren Evans for the season, this should be a long night for Va. Tech.

Cincinnati 20, Rutgers 21

Think the Bearcats are pissed that this game was moved up the schedule to opening night? They are right to feel that way. They took it in the gaspipe by the schedule makers.
This really does not matter, since the Big East is absolutely putrid this season. It just sounds like that Greg Schiano's recruiting is finally going to pay off, and Rutgers will have a solid defense this season. Player to watch in this game is Bearcat WR Marty Gilyard. He is the most underrated WR in the nation, and does not get enough ink.

Miami 19, Florida St. 24

The rivalry continues. Both teams are desperate to start off hot, especially Miami. I just think Seminole QB Christian Ponder makes all the difference in a Monday Night televised game on ESPN.

This is the Wayne Root game of the week. Want to know what that is? Go check out The Degenerates Corner.