NFL Picks for Week 8

I hope everyone had a nice Halloween. Whether it was taking your kids Trick O Treating, or picking up a slutty nurse wearing fishnet stockings at a costume party, the only thing that counts is if you wake up this morning with a smile.

I am smiling today and do you know why? NFL Sunday is here, and we are offically starting to look at possibilites with teams contending for playoffs spots.

There are also another six or so teams staring at the possibility of the #1 Overall pick in the 2010 Draft. There is especially one game on the slate that will have major implications on that this week.

Without further ado, the Week 8 picks:

Chicago Bears 27, Cleveland Browns 13 - The Bears were not just beaten last week by the Bengals, they were flat out stomped on and embarassed. So what is the best remedy for a defense that could not stop an infant last week? An offense that even the infant could outplay. Mangini's misfits are awful, and led by a QB that would be proud to complete 45% of his passes. Pathetic.

Indianaoplis Colts 34, San Francisco 49ers 17 - Alex Smith last week was a great story, and he will be solid this week in a bad venue for any QB. Smith will not be the reason the Niners lose. This defense has been getting shredded by aerial offenses the past several week, and now head into Peyton Manning's house. That should be a House of Horrors.

Baltimore Ravens 23, Denver Broncos 20 - Junior Belichick has had the Broncos playing near flawless this year, but it is alot to ask a team to go into Baltimore, who should be in HGH mode after the Bye week and losing 3 close games in a row. Nothing against the Broncos, they play valiantly in defeat.

New York Jets 23, Miami Dolphins 16 - Rematch of the Monday Night game that went to the last second, with a ton of trash talking. This game will be on the shoulders of Chad Henne, who looked like a virgin seeing Ron Jeremy naked in the 2nd half against the Saints. The Meadowland will be hostile, and Henne forunately still has the diaper on from last week.

Houston Texans 24, Buffalo Bills 10 - Yes, I am falling for the trap again. As soon as I usually put faith into the Texans, they let me down. I just cannot see a team as awful as the Bills are on offense, score enough. Texans have too much artillery, and will probaly finally give Steve Slaton 20-25 carries this week.

Dallas Cowboys 34, Seattle Seahawks 20 - When did Miles Austin become this generation's verison of Willie "Flipper" Anderson? You remember Flipper right? The WR on the Rams in the late 80's, who's job basically was to run 20+ yard patterns. He still holds the NFL single game record for receiving yards. The way Austin is going, he may break that streak one week.

Speaking of teams that old Flipper tossed a dagger into...

Philadelphia Eagles 31, New York Giants 28 - Flipper killed the Giants in the playoffs one year in the Meadowlands. I bring this up because, the Eagles have someone similar to Flipper Anderson's skill set that will haunt the Giants this week. DeShaun Jackson will score 2 TD's, one of them on a bomb pass. Philly takes round 1 for the day...

New York Yankees 7, Philadelphia Phillies 2 - Is Charlie Manuel really going with Joe Blanton, who's ERA is over 7 in his career against the Yankees? This might be a bloodbath, especially if CC Sabathia bring his A-Game on 3 days rest. Round 2 for the better city!

Detroit Lions 27, St. Louis Rams 24 - The Toilet Bowl! With all these games with potential divison and playoffs implications this week, how did we get stuck with this masterpiece? Hopefully, we will see some things we have not seen yet this season. They are....

1. Steven Jackson finally scores a touchdown.

2. We see a beautiful 75 yard TD pass from Stafford to Megatron Johnson. The first like that of many.

3. Both GM's go onto the field and scout the halftime Punt/Pass/Kick entries.

4. The Rams win...... eh, three out of four is enough.

Arizona Cardinals 40, Carolina Panthers 13 - What a horrible matchup for such an incompetent team like the Panthers. Cardinals are #1 in the league against the run, the Panthers strength. The Cards have opportunistic defensive backs that have taken Int's to the house. Interesting, did anyone tell them that Jake Delhomme somehow still has a job? I swear he has some serious incriminating things about John Fox to still be on the field.

San Diego Chargers 52, Oakland Raiders 17 - The Chargers finally hit their stride last week. Now, they are dangerous until punched in the mouth again. Oakland does not punch teams in the mouth, they get curbstomped. Let's make the Over./Under on Doughboy Russell deer in the headlights stares into the camera at 6.5. He still swears that it was not his fault though...

Jacksonville Jaguars 34, Tennessee Titans 13 - The Titans are coming off bye from the single most embarrassing game of the year, the 59-0 nuking from the Pats. Jeff Fisher gets handcuffed into starting Vince Young, who looks about only one step ahead of our Raider Doughboy in terms of being completely lost in the pocket. I could make a Rush Limbaugh reference here, but I do not want Al Shaprton after my blog. We will leave it at that.

Finally....

Green Bay Packers 31, Minnesota Vikings 28 - The game everyone has marked on the calendar since Days of Our Favre signed with the Vikings. The Cheeseheads in the Lambeau will more resemble the LA Riots. I think the Pack comes up with a severe emotion and will a victory out of this. Aaron Rodgers NEEDS this win to get out of that shadow our soap opera star still casts there.

Before I go, I am still in amazement by the trucking Adrian Peterson put on the Steelers William Gay last week. He literally stepped on Gay after steamrolling him. If you were Gay, do you have no choice but to feel obligated to bow and thank AP everytime he sees him now that he let him live? That was one of those rare signatures moments in a legends career.

Barry Sanders had the run where he sent Rod Woodsen's kneecap into the 14th row. Earl Campbell had his with his jeresy literally exploding. Walter Payton jumping over both Lines, and Emmitt Smith's game against the Giants, where his shoulder was separated just to name a few. AP has his now. Unreal.

Last Week: 7-6

Season: 63-39