I started to write this post early, since I could not stand the Bromance CBS has with Tim Tebow. I really believe Verne Lundquivst and Gary Danielson are told by their producers to act like its Brokeback Tebow. Well, perhaps I am slightly wrong, I do not think Danielson is acting.
Three games in the books this NFL week. (SportsTown is 3-0 so far this week!) The Thanksgiving games were boring and very predictable. I thought the Giants-Broncos game at night would of given us a breath of fresh air.
I was wrong.
The Giants stink. They got abused by the struggling Broncos. Both sides of the ball, OLine and DLine got manhandled by the Broncos, which is a scary thought for the Giants considering that the past few years, that has been their strength.
How hard was everyone laughing when Giants DE Osi Umenyiora was verbally hammering his team on the sidelines on two different occasions? This is the same guy that got the goose egg against the Broncos and All-World LT Ryan Clady.
Osi, if you are going to call out your team, do not do it in the game that you are one of the main reasons that the Giants got manhandled.
Now, onto the rest of this week's picks:
Miami Dolphins 23, Buffalo Bills 20 - I actually had to flip a coin in this one. The Bills Run Defense is prime to get shredded by the High-On-Life Ricky Williams and the Wildcat, but Buffalo last week whipped out a passing attack we have not seen all season from them. The Dolphins are horrible against the aerial assault. In the end, last minute FG wins it and keeps the Dolphins slim playoffs chances alive.
Carolina Panthers 27, New York Jets 16 - I see the Jets have been reading this blog, and they took my advice and benched Kerry Rhodes. Smart idea, but Mark Sanchez is throwing more interceptions now than Lindsey Lohan has run-ins with paparazzi nowadays. Panthers defense scores in this game.
Cincinnati Bengals 45, Cleveland Browns 13 - Bengals got humiliated last week in Oakland, and have hard nosed coaches Marvin Lewis and Mike Zimmer that probaly made the team go through hell this week in practice. On Sunday, they take it out on the Browns. After the game, Eric Mangini will complain that the Bengals played too hard.
Atlanta Falcons 38, Tampa Bay Bucs 20 - Josh Freeman has not looked bad behind the Center for the Bucs, but this franchise is a complete mess. Head Coach Raheem Morris is too immature for a head gig right now, and the Falcons will take advantage of it.
Houston Texans 31, Indianapolis Colts 28 - UPSET SPECIAL! Yes, I am going back to the well on this one. I was going to pick the Colts until I found out that Dwight Freeney was out. Matt Schaub will have a much easier time without having to worry about his blindside all day long. Peyton Manning does his best John Elway impersonation under 2 minutes in the game, but but it is no good.
Minnesota Vikings 31, Chicago Bears 13 - Took this long for these two teams to play this season? Bad scheduling. Jay Cutler is going to get pounded by this Vikings front four. I hate to stomach this, but with a big game, Brett Favre is in MVP talk. Do you know how hard that was just to even type?
Sidenote: What an awesome Mizzou-Kansas game going on! Looks like Mizzou is going to win on a last minute Field Goal. Mark Mangino murder watch starts in about 7 minutes.
Arizona Cardinals 24, Tennessee Titans 17 - I wanted to pull the upset special on this game, but the Cardinals passing attack should carve up the Titans. Tough to dismiss the fact that the Cardinals are 5-0 on the road this year as well. Remember though, the dreaded "Pacific Time Zone team playing at 1pm on the East Coast" is in effect though.
Philadelphia Eagles 23, Wshington Redskins 16 - The Skins defense is playing top notch right now, and Donovan Mcnabb is not 100% on the same page with all these young guns in the Eagles offense. This game will be close, but talent just rises to the top. Mccoy and Jackson have big days.
Seattle Seahawks 34, St. Louis Rams 27 - I just remember how Matt Hasselback carved up this defense earlier in the season. The Rams play hard, and Steven Jackson is an absolute monster, but they just do not have enough to win. If you have Hasselback and Jackson on your fantasy teams, be prepared to reap the benefits.
San Francisco 49ers 23, Jacksonville Jaguars 17 - The Vegas handicappers forbid me from making this game an upset special (SF is 3 point faves). This is just a horrible matchup for the kittens. 49ers Run Defense is very stout, and The Pinball Wizard (New Maurice Jones-Drew nickname, tell me if it is fitting.) is going to have a hard time against the big guy in the middle Aubrayo Franklin, who should be headed to The Kapunu Suite in Feburary.
If you do not get that term, go rent or buy Forgetting Sarah Marshall immediately! Although I want to investigate if Bill Hader gets these side roles in funny movies because he performs fallice acts to movie executives. The guy is not funny at all, along with the rest of Saturday Night Live of the past decade.
San Diego Chargers 38, Kansas City Chiefs 17 - The Bolts have really turned it on the past month and change. I see no way in hell the Chiefs pull off two monster upsets in a row. We can leave it at that.
Baltimore Ravens 20, Pittsburgh Steelers 10 - This pick is made now knowing that Big Ben's coconut is not fully healed yet. Dennis Dixon will make his first start, in a horrible venue for QB's. The Steelers defense really has to crank it up in this game, but I think there is too much Flacco/Rice/Mason in this game.
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 100-58
Showing posts with label Houston Texans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Houston Texans. Show all posts
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Weekend Wrap-Up
I dragged my sick body out of bed long enough to vent on what I saw all weekend in sports. I may feel like a leper from Calcutta, but that did not stop me from watching about 75 different games this week. Direct TV is a gift from the Gods. I swear.
Let's start with the baseball playoffs...
The World Series begins this week, as the Yankees and Angels are ready for their showdown that has been destined since the All Star Break. No, that was not a typo, winner of this series wins it all. A National League team has a better shot at seeing Jesus than beating one of these teams.
ARod finally has the monkey off of his back. I will die of laughter if I hear another Yankee fan cry about how ARod does not hit in the clutch. He just won an entire series almost single handedly.
I dunno what was worse, Matt Holliday misjudging a flyball that hit him right in the bullseye, or Jonathan Paplebon going Chernobyl in Fenway yesterday. I have to admit, for the non-Cardinals and Red Sox fans, both were vividly entertaining.
The play Derek Jeter made last night late in the game, is the heads-up plays that legends are made out of. Fundemental baseball is such a lost science.
I will not even comment on the Phillies-Rockies. The game ended past my bedtime, and just watching that game made my sick carcass fetch another blanket.
Next, College Football...
LSU is such a fraud. How in the world was this team ranked 4th in the country? I know why. Two reasons. One, CBS needed to hype the prime-time game between LSU and Florida. Second, the polls are more rigged than an Albanian poker game or a Trotter's race. I will let you decide on that one.
I do not want to hear any "expert" state that Tim Tebow should remotely win the Heisman this season. Sorry, but under 200 yards passing, and just willing your team to victory is not enough. Tell me one good reason why Tebow should win the Heisman over Colt Mccoy, Jimmy Clausen, or Tony Pike?
Speaking of Mccoy, Texas is a boarderline fraud as well. Great teams are not trailing 17-14 in the 2nd half to the likes of Colorado in their own house. If Texas keeps on playing only one half in games, they will get clipped by Oklahoma.
The real great team is Alabama. Their defense is better than at least 10 NFL teams defenses. They have a solid OLine, with a rugged RB, and an All-World talent at WR.
They have everything, but a QB. The Mcelroy kid is a complete deer in headlights. I watched the Ole Miss game on Saturday. Mcelroy did not look off one receiver all game long. Do that against Florida, and they will beat the Tide by 10 like last SEC Championship.
From what I have been watching, the Title Game, should just be a rematch of the SEC Title game. Florida and Alabama are head and shoulders better than everyone else, including Texas.
Although, you know USC will somehow weasel their way into the Title Game. USC and Ohio St. are the two most overhyped programs in the nation. Sickening.
Finally, the sweet National Football League...
Best part of the NFL day? Not only did Josh Mcdaniels the pupil beat his teacher Bill Belichick, he left the grumpy nutjob, and the CBS cameras hanging for the postgame handshake. If you can, take a look at Belichick's face during it all. Priceless. Expect a cutthroat 2007 Pats like eff-you game the next time the Pats and Broncos play.
Gary Kubiak should be shot and buried for the awful playcalling and personnel changes. First and Goal, and you cannot punch it in? That is the second time this season Kubiak lost a game with his backup RB, Chris Brown getting pressure crunchtime carries. Texans should be 4-1.Just awful!
I bet Dre Bly showered and sprinted out of the locker room after losing the ball trying to showboat off an interception when the team is getting slamdanced on. I think it was the shovel, lawn darts, and bag of lye sitting right outside Mike Singletary's office.
Manning brothers 42, Tennessee Raiders 16
While mentioning the Raiders, can we finally call Jamarcus Russell an Offical Bust? He was the third best QB playing in the Raiders-Giants game. Yes, shellshocked David Carr is miles better than Russell, who reacts on the field like he smoked two ounces of weed by himself, on a streak of 72 hours without sleep.
The Browns-Bills game was by far, the worst game of this decade I have seen. I have never seen a team win when their QB was 2-17!!!! Derek Anderson went 2-17. STIFF ALERT!!! That is not a typo. After this game, Terrell Owens should be on Defcon 1.
Ok, we get it media. Brett Favre turned 40 years of age. Now, please stop mentioning every motion that diva makes before I feel compelled to Tom Cable one of you. I dunno what is more pathetic in this NFL season, media's crush on Favre, the Rams, or Tom Brady crying for shadow roughing the passer calls.
I am calling it right now. The Giants next week go into New Orleans and smack the Saints up physically. Giants win that game by at least 10 points. Eli Manning in a rare zone that is usually reserved for big bro.
I think Miles Austin and Roddy White had more receiving yards combined than the Cleveland Browns have had all season. We may need to look that one up.
Monday Night Football Prediction:
Jets get back Calvin Pace, who is their best pass rusher. Dolphins will try and run the ball, but the Jets defense is salavating to let Chad Henne air it out. Close, physical game. Do not expect alot of points.
Jets 20, Dolphins 10
(Apologies for no pictures or images on this post. Blogger is on the fritz, and did not even have the link up for me to have the option. Will be fixed for the future.)
Let's start with the baseball playoffs...
The World Series begins this week, as the Yankees and Angels are ready for their showdown that has been destined since the All Star Break. No, that was not a typo, winner of this series wins it all. A National League team has a better shot at seeing Jesus than beating one of these teams.
ARod finally has the monkey off of his back. I will die of laughter if I hear another Yankee fan cry about how ARod does not hit in the clutch. He just won an entire series almost single handedly.
I dunno what was worse, Matt Holliday misjudging a flyball that hit him right in the bullseye, or Jonathan Paplebon going Chernobyl in Fenway yesterday. I have to admit, for the non-Cardinals and Red Sox fans, both were vividly entertaining.
The play Derek Jeter made last night late in the game, is the heads-up plays that legends are made out of. Fundemental baseball is such a lost science.
I will not even comment on the Phillies-Rockies. The game ended past my bedtime, and just watching that game made my sick carcass fetch another blanket.
Next, College Football...
LSU is such a fraud. How in the world was this team ranked 4th in the country? I know why. Two reasons. One, CBS needed to hype the prime-time game between LSU and Florida. Second, the polls are more rigged than an Albanian poker game or a Trotter's race. I will let you decide on that one.
I do not want to hear any "expert" state that Tim Tebow should remotely win the Heisman this season. Sorry, but under 200 yards passing, and just willing your team to victory is not enough. Tell me one good reason why Tebow should win the Heisman over Colt Mccoy, Jimmy Clausen, or Tony Pike?
Speaking of Mccoy, Texas is a boarderline fraud as well. Great teams are not trailing 17-14 in the 2nd half to the likes of Colorado in their own house. If Texas keeps on playing only one half in games, they will get clipped by Oklahoma.
The real great team is Alabama. Their defense is better than at least 10 NFL teams defenses. They have a solid OLine, with a rugged RB, and an All-World talent at WR.
They have everything, but a QB. The Mcelroy kid is a complete deer in headlights. I watched the Ole Miss game on Saturday. Mcelroy did not look off one receiver all game long. Do that against Florida, and they will beat the Tide by 10 like last SEC Championship.
From what I have been watching, the Title Game, should just be a rematch of the SEC Title game. Florida and Alabama are head and shoulders better than everyone else, including Texas.
Although, you know USC will somehow weasel their way into the Title Game. USC and Ohio St. are the two most overhyped programs in the nation. Sickening.
Finally, the sweet National Football League...
Best part of the NFL day? Not only did Josh Mcdaniels the pupil beat his teacher Bill Belichick, he left the grumpy nutjob, and the CBS cameras hanging for the postgame handshake. If you can, take a look at Belichick's face during it all. Priceless. Expect a cutthroat 2007 Pats like eff-you game the next time the Pats and Broncos play.
Gary Kubiak should be shot and buried for the awful playcalling and personnel changes. First and Goal, and you cannot punch it in? That is the second time this season Kubiak lost a game with his backup RB, Chris Brown getting pressure crunchtime carries. Texans should be 4-1.Just awful!
I bet Dre Bly showered and sprinted out of the locker room after losing the ball trying to showboat off an interception when the team is getting slamdanced on. I think it was the shovel, lawn darts, and bag of lye sitting right outside Mike Singletary's office.
Manning brothers 42, Tennessee Raiders 16
While mentioning the Raiders, can we finally call Jamarcus Russell an Offical Bust? He was the third best QB playing in the Raiders-Giants game. Yes, shellshocked David Carr is miles better than Russell, who reacts on the field like he smoked two ounces of weed by himself, on a streak of 72 hours without sleep.
The Browns-Bills game was by far, the worst game of this decade I have seen. I have never seen a team win when their QB was 2-17!!!! Derek Anderson went 2-17. STIFF ALERT!!! That is not a typo. After this game, Terrell Owens should be on Defcon 1.
Ok, we get it media. Brett Favre turned 40 years of age. Now, please stop mentioning every motion that diva makes before I feel compelled to Tom Cable one of you. I dunno what is more pathetic in this NFL season, media's crush on Favre, the Rams, or Tom Brady crying for shadow roughing the passer calls.
I am calling it right now. The Giants next week go into New Orleans and smack the Saints up physically. Giants win that game by at least 10 points. Eli Manning in a rare zone that is usually reserved for big bro.
I think Miles Austin and Roddy White had more receiving yards combined than the Cleveland Browns have had all season. We may need to look that one up.
Monday Night Football Prediction:
Jets get back Calvin Pace, who is their best pass rusher. Dolphins will try and run the ball, but the Jets defense is salavating to let Chad Henne air it out. Close, physical game. Do not expect alot of points.
Jets 20, Dolphins 10
(Apologies for no pictures or images on this post. Blogger is on the fritz, and did not even have the link up for me to have the option. Will be fixed for the future.)
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