NFL Picks Week 7

I am still baffled about my Eagles 72-0 prediction over the Raiders not coming to fruition. It is amazing that a supposed Super Bowl contender can lose against a team that 7 days earlier, looked as lost on a football field as the Angola National Basketball team in 1992 when they went on the court against The Dream Team.

Should that loss on my overall count as 2 losses? 3? Maybe 5??? Man, that was awful.

Anyway, here are my Week 7 picks:

Indianapolis Colts 54, St. Louis Rams 10 - This is the ultimate Survivor League pick. Whoever already used the Colts is crying on their pillow. Whoever plays Fantasy Football is dreading the idea of their opponents having Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, and/or Dallas Clark. Not going to be pretty...

Chicago Bears 24, Cincinnati Bengals 16 - I was severely on that Bengals Bangwagon from Day 1, but two things in this make me lean towards the Bears.

1. I do not see the Bears losing two straight.

2. I did not like how the Texans passing attack just toyed with the Bengals. Jay Cutler has the speed at the WR's to burn them the same way.

New England Patriots 66, Tampa Bay Bucs 10 - On the flight to London this week, I would put hard cash on the line that Commish Roger Goodell was calling Bill Belichick with the following message.

"Pleassse do not run up the score! Make this game look marketable to the Euros. I beg of you, this could set us back five years in Europe."

Think Belichick cares? No, I did not think so. He will probaly give the playcall in the 4th quarter to Tom Brady to run playaction pass, and hit Randy Moss with a 75 yard TD.

San Francisco 49ers 23, Houston Texans 20 - Loss, Win, Loss, Win, Loss, Win. Guess what comes next for the Texans? The single biggest enigma in the NFL. This team should be 5-1. I also cannot see Mike Singletary off a blowout and a bye get ran off the field again.

Green Bay Packers 49, Cleveland Browns 6 - Do you expect me to predict that the Browns, with all of their dysfunction, moronic Head Coach, and a dozen players probaly out with "the flu" are going to make this a reasonable game? Better chance of looking at your mirror, and Jesus looking back at you.

Kansas City Chiefs 27, San Diego Chargers 20 - Yes, you heard this one here first. The QB on Army can throw against this Chargers defense. Matt Cassel is actually not playing bad at all. On the plane ride home, someone tosses Norv Turner's useless body out the opened door. See ya Norv!

Pittsburgh Steelers 38, Minnesota Vikings 20 - Hmmmm. 24th ranked Pass defense, with their best, and only good DB, Antoine Winfield out, against the 2nd ranked passing offense in the NFL. This is the only stat you need to know that the Steelers are going to win. The margin of victory is because Adrian Peterson is going up against the first ranked rushing defense.

Carolina Panthers 24, Buffalo Bills 9 - Let me get this straight. The Bills gave up over 320 yards rushing last week to the Jets, and they are going to somehow stop D'Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart? They give up 250 more yards on the ground, but this time, the Bills do not weasel out a victory.

Sidenote to Jake Delhomme: Your star WR is about to go ballistic. Either throw him the ball and make him feel like the moronic crybaby superstar that his image makes him believe he is, or keep your helmet on when on the sidelines. Remember, he has a tendency to smack a teammate up.

Dallas Cowboys 24, Atlanta Falcons 17 - The only reason why the pick is the Cowboys is simple. They are home after a bye. Go take a look at the teams records this season when playing after a Bye.....

New York Jets 19, Oakland Raiders 0 - If Mark Sanchez throws the ball more than 20 times this week, the media should be roasting someone. The Raiders cannot stop the run, and that all the Jets did last week.

Does anyone remember a time when a team actually ran for 300 yards on the ground and lost? Sickening.

The Jets defense is pissed as well. They really should make the Jamarcus Russell-Ryan Leaf comparisons alot more interesting after this game.

Miami Dolphins 31, New Orleans Saints 30 - UPSET SPECIAL! Again, a home team playing off a bye. Miami is going to shove the Wildcat down the Saints throats and their best defense will be their time of possession.

New York Giants 38, Arizona Cardinals 17 - There is no way in my mind that the Giants will lose at home, after getting embarassed the week before, playing a soft Cardinals team. Remember the Cardinals traveling to the East Coast last season? They got killed the Jets and Eagles, and lost to the Panthers. Plus, after not touching Drew Brees last week, I suspect Kurt Warner is going to decked about 15 times.

Last Week: 7-7

Season: 56-33

NFL Week 2

Week 1 in the NFL had alot of cupcake matchups, hence the reason we went 13-2 on the predictions, only missing on the Texans getting whored out in their own building by the newly crowned "Sanchise" and the Jets, and because of that miracle grab for Denver that made Gus Johnson have a 6.3 Richter Scale like orgasm.

Week 2 is a bit different, with several prime time matchups and a bare mininum on the blowout specials, this week's action will be as fat as Floyd Mayweather at his weigh-in.

Atlanta Falcons 27, Carolina Panthers 17 - As much as Jake Delhomme got a case of amnesia and melted down last week, what stood out to me more was how Matt Ryan effciently carved up a pretty good Dolphin defense through the air. Ryan has a good game, Delhomme helps out with a Lotto Pick 6. Steve Smith may decide to deck teammate #3 by the end of this game.

Buffalo Bills 20, Tampa Bay Bucs 13 - TO can take the pacifier out of his mouth now, the Bucs pass defense was a launching pad last week. Owens and Evans will have a field day. I just hope Trent Edwards has the arm strength for this game.

Minnesota Vikings 34, Detroit Lions 14 - CNNSI.com's Peter King must of smoked the same weed Stewart Mandel did. Mandel picked Washington over USC, and now King is picking the Lions in this, which would basically eliminate 2/3rds of all Survivor Pool entries in America. No way, no how. Adrian Peterson goes Bo Jackson/Tecmo Bowl nuts this week.

Green Bay 23, Cincinnati Bengals 16 - This game will be closer than most realize. The orange cats can play some defense, that miracle catch last week was just that, a miracle. They just cannot keep up with Rodgers and Jennings.

Tennessee Titans 23, Houston Texans 12 - Titans are pissed off after having the Steelers in their grasps. Got a long week off as well. Houston got embarrassed at home to the Jets. Actually an early important game for both. Titans just punch them in the mouth on the Lines.

Kansas City Chiefs 27, Oakland Raiders 23 - This pick is based on Matt Cassel being under center. I just think the Raider letdown from Monday Night will still linger. Dwayne Bowe and Mr. Nnamdi Asomugha will be a tough, physical battle on the line of scrimmage.

Jacksonville Jaguars 24, Arizona Cardinals 20 - Upset Special! Yes, we are going to pick on the Cardinals, and do you know why? The ancient law of West Coast team, playing on the East Coast, at a 1pm est. start. It was basically foolproof last season. Take the East Coast team at home until proven otherwise.

Washington Redskins 23, St. Louis Rams 3 - Good news for the Rams, they finally put some points on the board this season. The bad news? The Redskin defense is basically Clubber Lang in Rocky 3 this week, and the prediction is for PAIN!

New Orleans Saints 38, Philadelphia Eagles 20 - The Donovan Mcnabb injury is basically the outcome. I do not think he will play. Why do you think the Eagles brought in Jeff "Huckleberry Hound" Garica in immediately? Drew Brees finally cracks this Eagle defense late and pours it on.

New England Patriots 17, New York Jets 14 - How fun has the mind games and trash talking been for this game during the week? Rex Ryan came in knowing that the Jets HATE the Pats, and he rubbed salt to the wound right away. BTW, someone should tell Rodney Harrison that he is now a member of the press, and part of being the press, is to not associate yourself in a Twitter War defending your old team, like you still played! The Vegas line is FISHY. Pats pull out a nailbiter.

Cleveland Browns 19, Denver Broncos 16 - Although they won last week basically by the hand of God, I have zero confidence in Denver. Orton is a stiff, and that defense really can not stop Scooby Doo and the gang. Brady Quinn looks sharp this week, just a gut feeling.

Seattle Seahawks 27, San Francisco 49ers 23 - Got to give the 49ers props for making my Upset pick last week come through. They could easily win this game as well, but I do not think the 49ers have an answer for TE John Carlson. As long as Matt Hasselback is healthy, he is only going to improve each week.

Baltimore Ravens 17, San Diego Chargers 9 - No Tomlinson in this game. Does that hinder or improve the Bolts offense? Im not sure, LT looked as slow to hitting the hole as me running in quicksand. Ray Lewis and friends eat up the Bolts this week, who are also without C Nick Hardwick.

Chicago Bears 21, Pittsburgh Steelers 16 - Jay Cutler will bounce back, and I would like to give him a pointer in this clash with the champs. No Troy Polamalu = post routes with Hester and use Greg Olson in the middle of the field. Bears are desperate for a win, and claw one out.

New York Giants 27, Dallas Cowboys 20 - Everyone has Dallas winning this game, and they looked sharp in the first Post TO era last week. I just have no idea how the Boys are going to handle that physical defense, especially that front four. Got to prove you can beat a heavyweight Dallas. Sorry.

Last prediction:

Juan Manuel Marquez def. Floyd Mayweather by decison.

This prediction is coming more from the heart than on paper. Mayweather is the bigger, stronger, and faster fighter. I just cannot see Mayweather shake off 21 months of ring rust that fast against the smartest, technical fighter he has ever faced in his career.

By the way, nice one Mayweather for not making weight. The conspiracy theories are already going full-blast, but it comes down to one of two things. One, he just could not make weight.

Or, he did not want to make weight, knew Marquez would settle on the side for compensation, and did not have to dehydrate himself in training and will come into the fight stronger.

Either way, I hope Marquez knocks the punk out. I will settle for Mayweather being embarrassed after hearing the scorecards from Michael Buffer.

We will predict the Monday Night game next article, tomorrow.